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Introvert child: Parenting

You’re confused by your kid. He doesn’t act the way you did when you were growing up. He’s hesitant and reserved. Instead of diving into play, he’d rather stand back and watch the other kids. He talks to you in fits and starts—sometimes he rambles on, telling you stories, but other times, he’s silent, and you can’t figure out what’s going on in his head. He spends a lot of time alone in his bedroom. His teacher says he wishes he’d participate more in class. His social life is limited to two people. Even weirder, he seems totally okay with that.
Congratulations: you’ve got an introvert child.
The secret to life is to put oneself in the right lighting - for some it could be a spotlight while some a lamp-lit place would do. So embrace the originality in your introverted child. Revel in their strengths. Revel in their deep thoughts. Revel in their imagination. It’s not unusual for parents to worry about their introverted children and even wonder if their behaviour is mentally and emotionally healthy. Of course, children can suffer from anxiety and depression, just as adults can. It’s important to be aware of the symptoms of childhood depression; sometimes withdrawal from friends and family and low energy signal something more than introversion. Many introverted children, however, are not depressed or anxious at all. They behave in the way they do because of their innate temperament. The more you embrace their natural introverted nature, the happier your child will be.
As a parent of an introvert child you should not do following things:-
 Embarrass them on purpose; Force them to have discussions with others. Make fun of them in front of others. Put them on the spot in front of others. Ask them to perform in front of other people. Talk for them – when they do not want you to. Over schedule them. Plan back to back activities for them with no down time. Force them to go outside and play when they want to recharge inside. Belittle their quiet demeanour. Consider them rude when they have a hard time saying hi to acquaintances. Be loud and draw attention to yourself when you are around their peers. Ask their peers questions. Disclose personal information in front of other people.
How to Raise Your Introvert Child?
Remember your introverted child is a treasure. Coping with an introvert can be daunting for parents as the child prefers different set of things from what is socially accepted. So here are 7 ways that will help you in raising your introvert child.
  • One of the best ways to handle an introverted child is to work with the child on his reactions to novelty. Introverts react not only to new people but also to new events and places. Let us not mistake their reaction or recoiling as an inability.
  • Introvert child need more time and space. It is best to expose them to ‘new’ people or situations gradually. Respect their limits even if they are extreme. Let them know that their feelings are natural and normal. As parents we should not be over protective or forceful.
  • Let us get over the habit of ‘showing off’ our child. We have to think from the child’s perspective. Ankita hated it when her parents kept pushing her to show her dancing skills in front of visitors. One day she broke down and told her mother. Fortunately the mother understood.
  • Soumya was not keen on signing up for swimming classes. His father did not push or prod. Rather he took Soumya every day to the poolside to watch others learn swimming. After some days he brought a ball and began to play with his son in the shallow side of the pool. Soumya soon gained confidence to sign up for the classes.
  • Labelling your introverted child as shy does not help. It soon becomes a fixed trait. Helping introverted children in building social skills is important. Try to make social encounters pleasant and comforting.
  • Take the case of Bimal. His parents would ensure that they reach early for a social gathering so that Bimal owned the space rather than entering late, which in turn would make him squirm and uncomfortable.
  • Three skills that could help introverted children in a social setting- Smile, stand up straight and make eye contact.

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